It seems to be happening increasingly these days. Children grow up, leave home, work, and then move back home. Sometimes it's after five years. Sometimes it's after 25 years. I've been there as a parent... a few times. Most adult children who move home do so as an expedient.

The typical agreement among the three is that they will all get along and treat one another with respect. Each will contribute financially according to means. Obviously, the financial contribution of the returning offspring may be quite limited.

Although sometimes the homecoming son or daughter is accompanied by children and/or a spouse, which makes the arrangement more complicated, I'll assume for the present the returning adult child is single, and the parents are together.

Since they are three adults living together, they agree to chip in and do their share of the usual chores around the property. They also agree that if things don't work out for any reason the son or daughter will make their own arrangements to live elsewhere.

"Not working out" is intended to mean that one or more of the parties becomes unhappy with the arrangement and can't get past that. Unhappiness could arise because the adult child's "occasional drink" turns out to be serious drug or alcohol abuse. Criminal behavior, (theft, producing drugs, holding stolen property, etc.), someone feeling abused, or the parents fighting with each other could be other sources of unhappiness.

Unfortunately, this very sensible agreement is seldom written down. Then, if things deteriorate, instead of looking for sensible solutions, each refers back to his or her recollection of the agreement: "but you promised..." Everyone seems to have forgotten the escape plan.

The dynamic of the typical deterioration is almost universal. In rare cases it may be avoided if all parties are very conscious of it in advance and are very vigilant.

So what is the dynamic? It usually starts off well with everyone having the best of intentions to live as an adult couple with another adult. However, they have never done this before with one another. But they have years of experience of living together as parents and a child.

The adult son does something that he would have done as a teenager at home, but has never done as an adult on his own. Or one of the parents say something that they said frequently when their daughter was a teenager at home, but would never say to a stranger who was staying with them as boarder.

A teenager's psychological work is to be somewhat defiant in preparation for leaving home. The parents' job is to launch their teenager into adulthood.

The parents say "Let us know when you'll be home." They may be asking for the common courtesy that they give to each other. But the adult son or daughter experiences this as an attempt to control. Memories of teenage curfews are triggered. In unconscious defiance, they don't give the courtesy they would have extended without question to a same-aged roommate.

It takes great restraint for a parent to not act like a parent when you're 25-year-old or 45-year-old offspring is acting like a teenager. I'm not sure I ever got the knack of it. It is even more of a challenge for the less mature adult child to stay adult when the parents are acting like parents of a teenager.

For the sake of everyone's sanity, always have an escape plan. You could even post it on the refrigerator.

It takes a lot to be that woman who can get a man to settle down. If you want to be that woman and get your guy to settle down with you here is what you will need to do:

Showing that you care for him
A man will settle down with a woman who is emotionally independent and self reliant. But at the same time this woman has to have the capacity to show that she can care for him and for all the people and things that are important to him.

The way you make him feel
A guy will settle down with that girl who makes him feel special. Much like women, men too want to settle with women who make them feel important and wanted. If you want your man to settle down with you then you have to make him feel like there is no one else like him for you.

That you accept him for the man he is
Men also settle with those women who are confident and comfortable accepting them for the way they are. They do not want to morph into some prototype that is created in the woman's mind. If you want a man to settle with you love him for who he is and the way he is.

That you are his pillar of strength
A man will want to settle with that woman who will be his pillar of strength. As a couple they need to click and support each other. If he sees a woman crumbling each time there is a crisis he will not want to be with her for life.

You give him space and respect his boundaries
A man wants his space and wants his woman to respect his boundaries. Without this a relationship for him becomes too suffocating to be in. If you want a man to settle with you then you have to learn to trust him and also give him his alone time without making him feel guilty about it.

You respect him
Men want their women to respect them. If you want your man to settle down with you, you have to learn to give him the respect he deserves. While you have to be truthful to the relationship and not let him feel like he knows everything, you cannot completely discount all that he says always.

You love him like no one else
Finally, a man will want to settle down with you when he sees that you love him like no one else. Make him feel the love and the ring will be on your finger soon enough.